“My dreams about my daughter started about one year before we conceived her,” the letter began. I felt shivers running up and down my spine as I read on. Renee’s letter was a wonderful story of pre-birth communication — those mysterious connections we may feel with our children-to-be.
“My husband and I weren’t trying hard to have a baby,” she wrote, “but thought that if it happened it was meant to be. I remember going to bed one night wondering to myself when I would become a mother. That night, I had a dream that seemed to last all night long…
“I was talking to a little girl in the dream. We were just light and carefree and chatting about anything and everything. I woke up remembering the dream vividly and feeling great. Over the course of the next year, I would have a dream like this at least once a month, sometimes more often than that. We’d spend hours playing and laughing and enjoying each other. For a while I didn’t know her name or even that she was the child I would give birth to. I finally asked her if she was my daughter and she said ‘yes.’ I asked her when I would get to meet her in the flesh and she said ‘soon.’
“Work got extremely busy the next summer and I was working what seemed like around the clock. Just as the hard push was over at work, I was talking to my girlfriend’s daughter Rachael, who was five years old. All of a sudden, she said to me, ‘Renee, you’re pregnant!’ and got so excited for me. I didn’t take her seriously at that time, I didn’t think it was possible. Since I had been working so hard and was so worn out, I hadn’t noticed that my dreams of the little girl had stopped. Sure enough, a week or two later, I found out that I was pregnant! When Rachael told me I was pregnant, I was five weeks along.”
“I will never forget the little girl in my dreams,” says Renee. “My daughter (twenty months old now) has changed my life in so many ways.” She adds, “I’ve told quite a few family and friends about my dreams prior to conceiving my daughter. Most think that it’s a neat idea but don’t really believe me.”
While it may be unusual to hear a story like Renee’s, in fact, pre-birth contacts are happening to many parents-to-be! Some of us are shy about sharing them or feel they are too private and personal to talk about. But sharing them can be a joy, and hearing other people’s stories helps us to open our inner eyes and ears to these exciting possibilities.
Long before your child is born, you may feel a connection, an inkling of the baby-to-be. It may be in a dream, so vivid that you feel you are meeting a real person who already exists, somewhere, somehow… Here is what another mother remembers:
“My son was born five months ago and the first contact that I remember happened three years ago when my husband and I first met and fell in love. It was during our first month together that I entered into my journal a dream where I saw our son Austin playing with his dad. The dream was very vivid and the image of him as clear as a photograph. I wrote a physical description of him and knew what a beautifully special little soul he is. I fell so in love with this child that for two years all I could think about was getting pregnant and being able to hold him in my arms.”
The idea of connecting with a future child before conception may seem almost unbelievable. It’s easier perhaps to accept the dreams and intuitions and “knowing” feelings that come later, during pregnancy. Austin’s mother continues her story:
“After two years and finally a commitment to be married I became pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy, I dreamed of him and he always looked the same. Same golden red hair and beautiful blue eyes. (This description wouldn’t be considered a “genetic given” considering my husband and I both have dark hair and eyes.) And in our dreams, we’d fly together. We’d meet at the mouth of a river where it meets the ocean and we’d fly the stretch of the beach together playfully.
“Now that he’s here I get physical tangible evidence of what I felt about him all along. He sparkles magically like the sun on the ocean on a clear day. His spirit is as free as a happy gull flying along the beach. His hair is like spun gold, each strand holding rays of sunshine. And his violet-blue eyes shine with the hope and purity of intent of all humanity.”
What a delight to think that in our dreams we may be able to play with our children before they’re born! Many pre-birth connections are playful and fun like those in the stories above. Others seem to have a different purpose. Some bring news of the pregnancy to an unsuspecting mother- or father-to-be. Others come at times of anxiety and help to reassure a worried parent.
Mary’s experience was the “announcing” kind, and it happened while she was wide awake and talking with her college teacher. Suddenly she heard a different, inner voice that was almost like a buzzing sound. The voice said: “The reason you have felt physically burdened and emotionally burdened is because you have invited me into your life. I am here with you. I am here.” Mary says that she felt very warm after receiving this message. “My heart felt warm, as if I had been hugged by an old friend,” she recalls. “I found out the next day that I was two weeks pregnant.”
Another woman felt an inner response when she needed reassurance during pregnancy. Vivien says: “There was a period, about five weeks before my due date when I was feeling really badly. I think it was because I had my third cold since getting pregnant, and just couldn’t eat the amounts and types of foods that I ‘should,’ and I couldn’t control my negative thoughts, and I felt even more guilt because of these. I was apologizing to the unborn baby, in a state of deep shame, and all of a sudden I felt like I was being hugged by a field of light, and an unheard message appeared in my consciousness, which told me, “Don’t worry– I’m fine!”
And so, what do these experiences mean? Is it possible that our future children come visiting, to laugh and play with us, to hug and encourage us before they take up their baby roles? I don’t know the answer. I do know that we can be unusually sensitive during the time that we are opening up our hearts and lives to a child, whether by birth or by adoption. It’s a good time to pay attention to subtle hints as well as dramatic encounters.
My own pre-conception experience was the subtle kind. It happened over and over during the months before I conceived my daughter. Just at the edge of sleep, suddenly I’d feel as though I had caught sight of the dearest person in the world. It was like a little fountain of joy springing up inside of me. But who was this person I loved so much? The feeling of it didn’t match anyone I already knew. I like to think it was my soon-to-be daughter, coming close — but I don’t know for sure.
How about you? Have you glimpsed your child’s face in a dream, or felt a loving presence, or just had a sudden flash of knowing something about your baby-to-be? If you’re pregnant now or hope to be pregnant soon, keep your inner eyes and ears open! Someone may be trying to get in touch…
Elisabeth Hallett is the mother of Devin and Roselyn, and author of two books. "Soul Trek: Meeting Our Children on the Way to Birth" is a treasury of pre-birth communication stories. "In The Newborn Year" explores the amazing changes-- mental, emotional, and spiritual -- that we may go through in postpartum (or post-adoption) time. For more information, please visit Elisabeth's website, Light Hearts.