Where to begin this story I tell
Where to begin this story I tell
About my life's decent to hell
How life once held such hope and joy
For my first born son, my baby boy.
But life didn't seem to follow my plan
I pray every night he'll live to be a man
Because time it seems has passed us by
Before I could ask how, when or why
He once made me proud to be his mom
When so handsome he went off to his prom
When he scored the only goal of a soccer game
When I heard the announcer say his name
Then as if with a blink of an eye
Everything changed, and I don't know why
The son I so cherish is lost and astray
And all I can do now is hope and pray
Life has changed for him and for me
What is the reason that this has to be
I used to believe everything he said
Now I distrust everything instead
I am afraid to even enter his room
Because what I find brings feelings of gloom
Beer cans, or booze bottles, maybe even some dope
If I enter there, it seems I lose all hope
The hope of what our family could be
If only he could grow up and see
That the choices he makes are not always right
That I love him so much and that's why I fight
To see him succeed in life is my goal
To see that I would even sell my soul
Does he know how it hurts me inside
To talk of these things I lose my pride
Does he know of the tears I cry
Every day no matter how hard I try
I go to bed now with no thought of tomorrow
Only with prayers to end this sorrow
I am afraid of tomorrow and afraid of today
I never know what's the right thing to say
In my heart I feel so sad and afraid
That he'll have to sleep in the bed that he's made
I wish that I could convince him somehow
That life isn't only for the here and now
That his future is as bright as a star in the sky
If only he would STOP and THINK and TRY
Someday I hope he will remember me
And someday I hope that he can see
That I tried to do what was right for him
To be a good mother really isn't a sin
That I only have his best interest at heart
To give him my love was only the start
Decisions of life are his now not mine
It is he who will have to decide about time
What he will do with the life God gave
I hope it's his life he will choose to save
(c) Lauri Clope
All Rights Reserved
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