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In some small way,
I may leave my mark on time...
But not through my offspring
who spurn the lessons that I live,
and reject the responsibility
that they have for themselves and their kin.
In pain they all are,
a pain that originates from within,
a result of the things they refuse to do properly,
refuse to do responsibly,
thus, the sense of failure they feel
in their viciously circular lives.
My successes live on in the offspring
of total strangers,
they write of how I've inspired and motivated them
by my living example
and determination to give them the best
education that I have to offer.
I feel saddened that I can touch so many,
but not my own...perhaps
I am a lot to live up to,
and my children are not up to it,
they feel safer within their vicious little circles,
pointing and blaming from within their ruts of routine.
I feel pity and disgust at these weaknesses,
that cause them to lie and redirect blame,
I have challenged and structured, guided and led...
No lasting impression results,
we go round and round, arguing used to deflect
self discovery...little do they know themselves.
I have known many like them...
who also go on to generate copies of themselves,
another vicious little circle
that reverberates throughout the generations...
I thought I could touch them, mold them,
but heredity just did me in!
J. S.
January 31, 2000.
(c) Jana Summars All Rights Reserved
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