It has been a full week. I was in the hospital a good part of Wednesday for a
headache and then they thought I was in labor. I had dilated to 2-3 cm and
80% effaced and then it stopped. Just my luck. The headaches are thought to
be pregnancy-induced migraines. Not fun but livable.
A few days later I began to see some mucus when I went to the bathroom. I was
fairly sure that this was the ever-elusive "plug" and I was progressing
nicely. Just when I thought I had lost all there was to loose a very large
and disgusting looking…well…thing made an appearance. This was the real plug
with some blood or bloody show. I must say it is rather repulsive to see.
Even then, when I thought there couldn't possibly be anything left of it, I
have seen some here and there. It is quite impressive.
My contractions continue to come and go and I continue to wait. On a lighter
note, we are thinking about beginning Olivia in a day care a couple days a
week for a few hours. I would like her to have some time to play and become
used to other children. The buzzword is "socialized." I had her with some
other children who were a bit older and one beat on her a bit. All she did
was cower in the corner holding desperately onto her ball and whimper. When I
got to her, her little lip was sticking out and she began to cry. I wanted to
cry harder. I think it traumatized me more than her. I still feel my heart
break a little when I think of it. She will be with other children her own
age so perhaps it won't be so intimidating for her, or me.
Being a mom is a tough job, not only on your stamina but also on your heart.
Her successes cause me such utter elation and her hurts break my heart every
time. I never knew what it was to really feel until I felt as a mother does-
pure, passionate and completely consuming.
|