"Ollie" must be a gymnast! He or she is tumbling around in there at a
ferocious pace! The movements are getting strong enough to feel with my hand
on my belly. I still get so depressed about the fat on my body though. I
know I didn't have much time to loose it before I got pregnant again and I had
45 lb to lose after the first 30 of water came off two weeks after delivery.
I just spent so much of my teen years obsessed with my weigh (pretty vain,
huh?) that now it is hard to give up control to good old Mother Nature. I
must admit I am terrified of gaining 75 lb again. S far, so good. I have
only gained 4 lb instead of 15 but this was the month last time when I gained
14 lb in 1 month!
Olivia is very cranky and I don't know why. I took her to the doctor because
she has had some kind of cold for two months. He said I just had to live with
a cranky baby. I know there isn't anything one can do for a cold except wait
but I wanted to make sure it wasn't RSV. He may be right but I found the
delivery of information a bit callous. Nothing I do for her makes her happy
these days. I only hope she gets over this stage and feels better soon. It's
frustrating for me but I know it must be very hard for her too.
Lately I am so out spoken that I embarrass myself. I used to be so shy in a
crowd. If I got the wrong meal at a restaurant I would eat it rather than say
something. I have no qualms about standing up for myself, usually in a polite
way. I am not used to this "new me" though and surprise myself quite a bit.
I don't know if it is for the better or not. I suppose if I am not being rude
it is OK.
I can't believe I am half way there! It hit me the other day. We are going
to have a newborn in the house in a matter of months! My goodness! Terror
and elation can be bedfellows.
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