Main Page Blog Getting Pregnant Articles Pregnancy Articles Parenting Articles TLOL Article Directory Chinese Gender Chart Pregnancy and Parenting Journals	Valuable Lessons by Barb Stiles Woe is me - the season of political announcements on TV and radio has arrived again. Sort of like the yearly dental checkup - painful but necessary, I suppose. With the political climate being what is right now, I imagine "values" are going to crop up again as the political byword. And that set me to thinking -- about the word so loosely tossed around by politicians and wannabe politicians. In the last election, many of the sound bites bordered on sleazy, were in poor taste and some were downright slanderous. But they were all done by people, on both sides of the political forum, who extolled their own virtues, told us how much they favor "family values" and "social values" and "good old day's values," while pointing at their opponents with disdain and distorting the truth. Little wonder poll turnouts are so poor. But values are important - and this country is struggling with their definition and place in our lives. Values do not start in Washington. Or Jeff City. Or St. Peters City Hall. Or St. Charles County Courthouse. They are not instilled by representatives or senators or presidents or mayors or county executives. They are taught, or not taught as the case may be, by parents, in the home to their children. And they are not taught by lectures or sermons or self-help books and tapes. They are taught by the example mom and dad set for them. Values are definitely a "do as I do" kind of subject. Saying one thing and doing another will not fly with kids - they pick up quickly on the disparity. The recent, unprecedented disregard for others' rights, property and even life, should be a wake up call to us all -- somewhere, somehow, the value system that made our freedom in this country possible, is eroding away. In the last couple of decades, we've become so afraid of hamstringing our kids with too many "restrictions" that we're too timid to insist that standards of behavior be adhered to. The educational systems at one time were partners with parents in teaching the traditional standards of behavior that mainstream America upheld. Now mentioning God or any religious values is forbidden in public schools, so the standards of those ideals have been driven underground, leaving a vacuum in our children's education. Then there is all the other outside influence our kids are exposed to - the obvious bugaboos - TV, music, videos, even books., there isn't but a handful of shows on TV I would let my kids watch if they were young again. The lifestyles depicted on the big screen, in most cases, as well as the small screen, instruct kids (and adults, as well) on how to live life to the fullest without ever adhering to a value system. But pondering those things brought an observation to mind -- we often don't clearly define in our own minds exactly what values we want to instill in our children. Think about it. What do you want the kids to value? Success? Financial superiority? A luxury car? An important membership? An ivy league college? Good, satisfying relationships? Contentment? Contributions to the world around them? There is a poem by Dorothy Nolte entitled CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE. I'm sure you've seen it - it's imprinted upon hundreds of plaques. A portion of that wise advice is, If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous. If children live with honesty and fairness, they learn what truth and justice are. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those around them. If children live with friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place in which to live. If children live with serenity, they learn to have peace of mind. With what are your children living? I would add to that, If children live with power struggles going on between mom and dad, they will not learn to cooperate. If children live where one parent (or both!) speaks to the other sarcastically or disdainfully or disrespectfully, the child will learn to speak in a like manner, not only to mom and dad, but to everyone else in his/her world - possibly all their life. If a child lives with parents who place more value on material possessions and social position than on honesty and integrity, they will learn to do whatever it takes to get ahead - regardless of the morality involved. On the other hand, If parents try to be as thoughtful to each other in speech and action as they are to their peers, children learn to be courteous and civil, too. If parents show their kids that people are more important than things and that success can be measured by more than the size of the bank account, they will learn to value relationships and accomplishment apart from society's scorecard. If children see their parents adhering to a higher moral standard than that of the world around them, they will strive to do the same - thinking of others needs, instead of only their own. And, then, when they are parents they will always base their actions on the question WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? Feel free to email Barb is you would like to give her some feedback on her work.