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Have Nanny, Will Travel
I'm not sure whose idea it was. I suppose it seemed like a good one at the time. But looking back, that is exactly what it should have remained. An idea. Like the trip to Maui. Or the trip to Arizona. Or the trip to Ottawa. Nice to talk about, better as an idea. While vacationing with your nanny can certainly have it's pro's, it in turn most definitely has it's con's. A two-day jaunt to Calgary leaves about as much room for rest and relaxation as a two-hour trip to the dentist chair. And even if I am brave enough to admit that it was my idea, this was certainly NOT the kind of trip I had in mind. There are a few criteria that I have come up with since this little fiasco took place in order to up your chances of a pleasant and relaxing vacation. Number one, go as a group. Go to the airport together, get on the plane together, sit together, and arrive together. Experience things together and there will be no discrepancies in behavior from anyone. Number two, don't spoil the child simply because you are on vacation. Allow certain extra treats here and there, but try not to discipline any differently than you do at home. The child will sense the change and GO WITH IT! The first sign of weakness is the only one the child needs to see. Number three, don't take your nanny for granted just because she is there 24 hours straight. Sure you paid for her ticket but that doesn't mean she doesn't get tired too. Give her adequate time alone. Boy, we're 0 for 3 here. Number four, when doing things as a group, don't accept any behavior other than what you would expect if you were at home. If the child acts up because he has all of you there, react accordingly. Otherwise, you are in for one long trip. And you'd be surprised how a two-day stint in a city two provinces away can become ONE LONG TRIP! So we're on the plane and I'm thinking this isn't so bad. He's being a pure angel. His first airplane ride and he is just a pleasure to fly with. We arrive; mom comes on the scene and attitudes change. I knew this wasn't going to work. The set up for this trip wasn't one with lots of free time and relaxing in mind. Mom was there on Monday for business, we flew out to meet her on Tuesday, but she still had business to attend to on Tuesday and Wednesday. Which would lend itself to the question of what-the-heck-are-we-doing-here, but hey, a free trip is a free trip. So it's Tuesday at three and someone is cranky for a snooze. Great way to start things off. I guess that should be number five, try to time your flights and arrivals so they do NOT coincide with cranky-pre-nap-times. We get to our fabulous hotel suite and mom is torn between going back to work and staying with us. But I know that if she stays, he won't nap and then we're ALL in for one joyous, headache inducing evening. So she puts the guilt away and heads off to work and he naps. Alleluia. Dinner time. Does mom eat out with her colleagues or come to Chuck E. Cheese with us. Tough choice. I know where I'd rather go. But alas, duty calls and its off to Chucky Land for me. We actually have a ball and eat like pigs and come home exhausted. This is where I get my free time. 9:30 at night. No car. Strange city. Gee, thanks. Morning rolls around and he hasn't hardly slept and its time for mom to go back to work and there are a few stores I want to get to that we don't have in Winnipeg so off we go. We manage to hop a few trains, play in a few parks, hit a few arcades, waste a whole load of money and wear ourselves out. In the back of my head I kept thinking, I could be doing this at home. But who am I to argue. So that's rule number six. Make the trip worthwhile for ALL involved parties. Its 3:30, mom comes back, says I can have an hour at the market and we'll meet in the lobby to leave. I tell her he should wake up around four and off I go. It's absolutely amazing how fast one-hour goes by when you haven't had a free one in over 24. Suddenly it is indeed 4:30 and we meet again to red eyes and tear stained cheeks and all I get form the equation is a You-don't-want-to-know-don't-talk-to-us type of look. Alrighty then, glad to be here. I just had to keep my fingers crossed that he would behave as princely on the way home for mom as he did on the way for me. Oh, what a fool am I. Luckily, I happened to sit beside a fabulously interesting and well traveled older man who kept great conversation and coffee flowing for the entire flight home. My traveling companions weren't quite as lucky. I won't go into the horrifying details but I guess I have rule number seven. Have control of your child in your own province and on the ground before you can expect to have any semblance of control of them elsewhere. It just won't work in your favor if you try and go about a trip any other way. Your nanny may be with you, but as long as you are there, you are the one in charge of discipline and orders. Aha! Rule number eight. Don't expect your nanny to take on the role of caregiver the same way she does at home while on your trip. If you are present, a nanny will leave the time-outs, disciplining and other problem areas up to you because you are, after all, the parent. I'm sure that, within a well-balanced family, taking a nanny along on a vacation is worthwhile. But make sure the entire JOURNEY is worthwhile before you mention the possibility. Make sure you have the family/household dynamics needed to pull off a nanny-included trip successfully. Don't try and pull off a "fun time" in a day and a half, it's only bound to exhaust and wind-up a child at the same time, and that's not a pretty sight. And be sure to follow the eight rules listed in this piece. Trust me on that one.
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