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Main Page Site Index Getting Pregnant Pregnancy Parenting Pregnancy and Parenting Journals Fertility Nutrition Pregnant Moms Morning Sickness Women's Health Child Health	Our Children by Pamela Kock My sweet daughter is in preschool. Part of me can't believe she has grown to that stage, and wants to keep her a baby in my arms. The other part rejoices in seeing all the new things she can do, enjoys having three hours, two days a week, knowing that her stimulation and intellectual development is in someone else's hands. Lauren's making lots of new friends and learning about the concept of "teacher" and "school". Along with letters and numbers, she's learning to interact with peers and follow rules. I am learning a few things too. Mothers of school-age children have almost as many responsibilities as the kids do with respect to the school experience. We must make sure they're clean, appropriately dressed, and on time. We must navigate an effective yet tactful communication with their teachers. When our children develop friendships, we have to establish at least a superficial friendship with the other child's parents. It's a new type of relationship for me, contact with people I would never meet if my child had not met theirs. But our biggest responsibility is to set a good example regarding ethics, morality, and social interaction, and to admit we don't have all the answers. Lauren went on her first field trip today. As a preschooler, she required a parent to transport her to the site and supervise each activity. We were given maps and instructions. On this fine fall morning I gathered my daughter, her 16 month old brother, and a picnic lunch and drove an hour northeast to a farm. All parents and children rode a hay wagon, petted and learned about horses and goats, and picked out a pumpkin to take home. We ate our picnic lunch and headed to the playground, which had little houses and horsey swings made from tires, and a maze of straw bales which I quickly learned was not intended for anyone over 4 feet tall. The children, some of whom had only been in a school setting for two months, were very well behaved and followed directions to the letter. The parents, on the other hand, could have benefited from attending Miss Patty's class along with their offspring. I saw children reprimanding their parents to get in line, reminding them that someone else was there first. Parents pushed others around so their child could get an attractive photo opportunity, sit in the front row while the guide explained equine gear, be the next in line for the much-coveted horsey tire swing. I, unfortunately, was not exempt from the shabby behavior. After two hours of negotiating a preschooler and toddler through the farm tour, trying to get them to eat the lunch I'd carried, and trying to keep them both in sight on the playground, I was exhausted. I couldn't seem to get Lauren an opening on the swings between the chaos of eager parents and impatient children, and had a mini-tantrum of my own. When a child got off the swing, another parent rushed to put her own son in the open seat. Nobody seemed to have ever heard of waiting in line, I thought, and muttered a profanity I hoped wasn't heard. My daughter attends a Christian preschool, after all. One mom offered me her child's spot, shooting me an expression of disapproval. I accepted it; Lauren rode the horsey swing. I took a photo. We put so much effort toward encouraging healthy social behavior in our children. Why is it that when we congregate with other parents we feel compelled to such competition? We feel the need to tell each other that our child is so amazing, she can do things others her age can't. We make them perform for anyone who will watch. We push our children to be first, get the best seat, make us look good. Perhaps that's what it all boils down to, our kids are the exhibition of our parenting abilities. I think they deserve more than that. Let's allow our kids to forge their own paths, and instigate their own activities. It may be a far more fascinating journey for all of us to follow. A Little About Pamela Pamela Kock is a freelance writer, and mother of two, from Hamilton, Ohio. She can be contacted at pkock@one.net.