Click here for some great mommmy and baby freebies from BabiesOnline.com

Main Page Site Index Getting Pregnant Pregnancy Parenting Pregnancy and Parenting Journals Fertility Nutrition Pregnant Moms Morning Sickness Women's Health Child Health	Multiples With A Twist There are two babies who rule my house. Through their cries, protests, opinions, and charm, they control every aspect of life within these walls. They have the power, because they have each other. They have the power, because I am the mother of multiples. Not twins, but even worse. I had two children thirteen months apart, and I am still alive to tell the tale. Indeed, parents who experience the delivery of their bundles of joy all at one time have their own unique set of circumstances. Births that occur within two years of each other, or repeats as I call them, are a whole different ballgame. Just when you think you’re done with bottles and diapers, it starts all over again. Having repeats is like running a marathon, finally making it to the finish line, panting and exhausted, and being told you’re only at the halfway point. The difficulties are many and obvious. The joys are infinite. To survive the years before kindergarten, a parent of repeats must be a gifted juggler, her own private psychotherapist, and a model of self-control. To achieve these goals, four things must be accomplished: the balance of time for each child, the balance of time for yourself, stress-reduction, and simple enjoyment. Every child needs one on one time with a parent. Trying to do that with two children who are so alike, yet so different is daunting. They don’t always want to do the same things, or don’t even possess the same abilities. The elder can’t fend for herself, so to send her on her own is impossible. The key is to take advantage of hidden moments. Inevitably younger children sleep longer and more frequently than older children. Take advantage of your younger child’s extended nap and earlier bedtime to focus attention on the older child. Do all the activities the younger child can’t participate in, and show them that they do not always have to play down to their sibling’s level. On the flip side, engage the older child in distraction activities, like videos, coloring, books, etc., so that you can center on the younger child who is most likely incapable of entertaining himself for too long. Be together, but be separate. Even if everyone is in the same room, each can individually be made to feel special and the center of attention. Don’t ever forget your own peace of mind. Having repeats is a mental and physical strain from the start. When you’re still getting up for midnight feedings, you’re also waking up with morning sickness. When you’re recovering from labor and delivery, you’re chasing a toddler. Being the mother of repeats necessitates quiet alone time. Learn to enjoy the children’s sleeping hours. Put off the laundry now and then to settle down with a good book. Use any babysitting opportunity you can find to get out of the house and into the world of adulthood. You can’t be a competent mother if you’re not a content person. Accept the fact that life is going to be stressful, but don’t let it overcome you. When you have a newborn and a toddler crying for you, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. This is a unique situation, and you are no less of a parent to recognize your own limits. When they get older and both are still battling the grips of babyhood in different ways, don’t take out your frustration on either child, especially the elder. Even though they’re older, they still can’t grasp the concept of sharing and the fragility of their younger sibling. Just because you have a smaller baby, doesn’t make your bigger one any older. Make allowances for the fact that battles will arise, and use those situations to your children’s advantage. Everyday is an excellent lesson in socialization that will enable them to blend well with children of all ages in their later years. Finally, enjoy the blessing you have been given. Watch how much they depend on each other. That is a bond that many parents try desperately to engage in their children who are several years apart. When they grow, they will inevitably distance, but when they are young, their love for each other is uncommonly strong. They find the joy in being together, and so should you. Nothing can be better than watching them learn from each other, which happens every moment. The elder child learns patience, compassion, and a sense of accomplishment. The younger child is exposed to a wealth of new experiences that they soon can master for themselves. Babies leading babies is nature’s built-in tutoring program. Being the parent of repeats for me has been a roller coaster. There are times of great success and times of grave failure. Sure, it is difficult, but no parent gets by easy. My favorite line that I hear in public at least once an outing is "Boy! You have your hands full." This used to annoy me to no end, until I realized that even though that is true, it’s better than having your hands empty. Mothering repeats is my greatest joy in life, because it is so challenging. Besides, unlike those mothers who send one child off to school while they still have one in the bassinet, I’m going to get one complete moment of freedom. The problem is, I don’t know what I’ll do with the time. Amy Hendrickson is the single-mother of Lonna, 2, and Jared, 1. She has an aggressive career in sales, and continues to pursue her bachelor’s degree. What little free time she has is devoted to activities with the children and her passion for writing. This ought to useful someday when she reaches her goal of becoming a college English professor.