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Main Page Site Index Getting Pregnant Pregnancy Parenting Pregnancy and Parenting Journals Fertility Nutrition Pregnant Moms Morning Sickness Women's Health Child Health	A Pleasant Evening Out? by Linda Sharp We recently celebrated our eight year anniversary. No small feat considering the six small feet that are constantly in between us! With three children under the age of 7, quality grown up time is always at a minimum. However, our anniversaries are very important to my husband and I. They are always made up of a wonderful restaurant, a glorious bottle of wine, some fabulous cuisine and quiet conversation as we reminisce on where we have been and how far we have come. As our actual date landed on a Friday, we had decided to go out on Saturday night, so he would not be rushed coming from work, TGIF traffic, etc. Would not want him to be all stressed on our big evening out, right? HA! The phone rang at 4:30pm on Friday afternoon. It was my wonderful, darling, handsome husband. "Do you think we could go out tonight instead of tomorrow night?" Sucking in all the air within a 5 mile radius in order to stay calm, I replied, "WHY?", although the response IN my head was more like , "?$@^$%?WHY@$#%?". " Well, Marianne (our wonderful surrogate grandmother/babysitter) might not be able to watch them tomorrow night." Barometers must have plummeted in southern California as I inhaled deeply to ask the next question. "So, what time would our reservations be?" He cheerfully responded, "7pm. Marianne can watch the kids at her house. I'll meet you there at 6pm, ok?" I have no memory of saying anything further or of actually hanging up the phone. On a good traffic day, Marianne is 25 minutes away, on a FRIDAY NIGHT IN RUSH HOUR SHE IS $%@$@&^%^%!!!!! Let's put it this way, I had 40 minutes till we would have to hit the minivan. What followed next is a testament to the power of a Mother. Thoughts quickly lined up in my head ... food, children, hair, make-up, clothes, diapers." Food? Pasta. I was literally stripping in the kitchen as I put water on to boil. I took the stairs to my room two at a time, as I shouted the plans to my children, who were of course, thrilled. Facing myself in the bathroom mirror, I was miles away from "hot date" material. I had spent the day cleaning toilets, scrubbing floors, and I had sweated for 30 minutes on my treadmill during naptime. I smelled like Mr. Clean .... Mr. Clean's armpits, that is. No time for a shower. BABY WIPES! After a quick, vigorous rubdown, I now smelled Powder Fresh and protected by aloe & lanolin. Back to the kitchen, I tossed the tortellini into the water, set the timer for 4 minutes and hit the stairs once more, shouting additional instructions to the kids. A quick wash of my face, and I deftly reapplied my make-up ... as deftly as one can in 2.4 minutes. Ripping the clip from my hair, I mentally thanked God for my curls. An upside down pick and refluff, back into a clip and spray. As a sprang to my closet, my one thought was BLACK. Grabbing hose, bra, pants, sparkly shirt and shoes, I threw it all on my bed and began to dress. BEEEEEEEEEP!!!! Down the stairs I raced. Had my neighbors peeked into my windows, I must have made quite a sight, draining pasta clad only in hose and a bra. Canned sauce, three bowls, slop, slop, slop. "DINNERRRRR", I screamed. ( Time now? 4:53pm. ) Threatened with no Nickelodeon for a month, they began to eat. I scaled Mt. Staircase, and in less than 5 minutes had dressed, accessorized and brushed my teeth. I rappelled back down Mt. Staircase to find my 2 year old looking like a pig in tomato slop. Knowing full well they would eat a year's supply of garbage at Marianne's, I declared dinner over. Miraculously, we were in the minivan by 5:15pm. As I revved the engine, a bell informed me that I HAD NO GAS! #$@#$%$#@!!!!!!! A trip to the nearest gas station, pumping in all my sparkly glory and we were on our way .... no where. Traffic, interstate, 5:30pm, Friday. You do the math. We finally arrived at 6:15pm. As she opened the door, I caught sight of Mr. GQ, relaxing in an easy chair, enjoying the news. On our way to dinner, he told me how beautiful I looked, how lucky he was, how much he loved me. I did not respond. As I was apparently tense and stressed, he finally asked what my problem was. Looking back, there are many ways I could have answered. Lovingly, tenderly, or I could have hollered, been a shrew. No. Being a firm believer that actions DO speak louder than words, I simply punched him in the nose. Happy Anniversary, my love. About Linda Sharp Linda is an internationally published humorist, appearing in publications from Canada to New Zealand, as well as many websites. She is also co-creator of the totally irreverent and hilarious Sanity Central - A Time Out From Parenting, located at www.sanitycentral.com . As a mother of three children ( 4 if you count her husband ), she firmly believes that laughter IS the best medicine. While her own life provides endless inspiration for her writings, she welcomes input and story ideas from other parents! She may be reached at icingotc@msn.com . Linda and her family currently wallow in the endless sunshine of southern California.