The Second Time Around

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The Second Time Around
by Jennifer McCormick
What is that saying about things being better the second time around? Whoever first made this profound statement was obviously not a working mother with a two-year-old son and a baby on the way! This is not to say that I am not excited about the impending arrival of my second bundle of joy, but the whole experience has been a tad bit different than when I was pregnant with my son. Once you are a parent, you can never quite see things in the same rosy glow of light again.
My husband and I recently visited friends who are anxiously awaiting the birth of their first child. My friend joyfully showed me the newly decorated nursery, which included every essential item a first-time parent would need in order to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child in the year 2000. Later that evening my husband and I had to chuckle at the virginal anticipation of our friends. Little do they know that in a week or two they will be sent home with an eight-pound bundle that will totally and completely rearrange their happy little dream of parenthood forever.
Somewhere in the wonder and joy of this miracle, we forget that babies cry and poop and eat and cry and poop and occasionally (when we're very lucky) sleep. When my husband and I first married we talked of having two children, but upon bringing our son home from the hospital, my husband swore up and down that there would be no more infants brought through our front door. Our son's fate would be that of an only child, unless I could guarantee him that our next child would be the exact opposite of the one who lay screaming in my arms for the better part of each day. (Fortunately, two years and the fading of infancy to toddlerhood softened his feelings.)
This is not to say that having a child has not been the greatest experience of my life. It has. However, what most first-time parents do not realize (myself included) is that having the exact number of sleepers, gowns and onesies that books and magazines deem mandatory for every newborn will not stop that same newborn from crying from 5:00 pm until midnight every night for the first six weeks. And all too soon, they will realize that the wipe warmer warms wipes that are inside the box, but in the few seconds it takes to get them from the box to your adorable baby's bottom, they will get as cold has they would have been without this little device!
The second time around, thus far, has been a reality check that, if experienced by first-time parents, would send them packing their bags to the baby-free zone. I no longer have time to casually wander through baby departments and purchase all the necessary gadgets and gizmos that every new parent must own. But I do know quite a lot about the goings on in Teletubbyland and on Sesame Street. I know all the words to "Barney Goes to the Circus," and I can sing "The Wheels on the Bus" (including hand motions) with the best of them.
I am more tired than I thought one woman could ever possibly become, even though I lived through the first seven months of my son's life without him sleeping more than two consecutive hours. If I could bottle up the energy my son has now and market it to mothers pregnant for the second and subsequent times, I would be a millionaire. But, alas, I smile through my fatigue and remember to be patient when I tell my son for the hundredth time that while sharing is nice, our cat cannot and should not drink juice out of his sippy cup.
But despite the impending reality of having a newborn in the house again and dealing with the morning sickness and exhaustion of pregnancy, I still await the birth of my second child with excitement. While my friend falls asleep each night dreaming of rocking an enchanting infant to sleep for eight to ten hours of peaceful slumber a night, I lay in bed, feeling the kicking and squirming of my baby inside me, knowing that in a few months, I will give birth to a playmate and companion for my son. Someone who he will love and hate at the same time. Someone he will laugh with, cry with, fight with and ultimately be with for the rest of his life. They say the relationships we have for the greatest part of our lives are those we have with siblings. And I know that in spite of all the challenges of parenthood and having another life to be responsible for, I will soon be giving birth to another treasured member of our family. That is the thought that gets second-timers through the good days and the bad days. The thought that I am only perfecting what I already feel is the most wonderful part of my life is what is getting me through the second time around.

Jennifer McCormick works full-time outside the home while trying to maintain her sanity and do the best job possible as full-time wife and mother. Luckily, she is blessed by having a loving husband, Will, and wonderful two-year-old son, Tyler, who both make the difficult times a whole lot easier. They are expecting a new addition to their family in June and Jennifer hopes to someday soon fulfill her dream of being a stay-at-home mom.