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Click here if you would like to share your story with us.
How did/do you handle a negative cycle? What tips can you offer that help you to cope with the negative news?
Michele
I hate the day of pregnancy results, more than anything in the world. Time slows to a crawl, and I jump out of my skin any time the phone rings. On certain cycles, I haven't even answered the phone, preferring to let the answering machine record the bad news. Usually, the grief isn't immediate - the shock is so complete that I can't feel anything for up to two days. Then the grief lets loose like a dam breaking - the tears come, and despair invades. The sense of failure is so complete it is terrifying.
After my 6th cycle, I found little ways to ease the darkness. I make sure I have a huge box of Godiva chocolates and a tall bottle of bath bubbles from an expensive little french boutique (something I couldn't normally afford) on hand. If the results come in negative, my husband picks up the largest order of chinese takeout known to two people. We indulge and feel absolutely decadent. It by no means takes the pain away, but it forces us to focus on what's important - the two people in the relationship - NOT the test results. We're able to sit down to dinner, and discuss our options and our feelings on proceeding after our dream.
Within a week of the news, I always gravitate to the backyard, and absorb myself knee-deep in my flower gardens. They were created as a means of coping with the losses, and as I've watched them blossom and grow, they remind me of how far we've come, and how precious life is. The act of deep fertilizing my roses is so symbolic and special to me. Something about physical work - it forces the negative out, however briefly, and makes you refocus and rework your priorities.
Melissa
I was diagnosed with PCOS about two years ago. When the
Dateline story came out, I started taking Rezulin. I started to
feel very strange, and I still hadn't had my cycle-so mid Nov98-
I took a HPT. Negative, it said. and I was very upset, but I
told myself that it just wasn't meant to be. I continued to
feel strange, but attributed it to my meds. By Feb, I still had
no cycle so I went to the doctor to get birth control pills. (I
was sure my meds-and no cycle-were making me feel strange) On
Feb 3(99), My doctor did a test-and it was positive!! When I
went to the OB, I found out I was already 4 1/2 months pregnant!
(I must have ovulated immediately with the Rezulin) Madison was
born by C-section (due to fetal distress) on July 27th. I still
remember how I felt when that HPT came up negative-I felt sad
because I'd never have a child.(This HPT was the last of
Hundreds!) It was months before I knew that I had a child all
along. We want a second child, but aren't sure that we can. I
don't want to go through the disappointment again, but, if we're
successful, it will be well worth it, and if we're not-well, it
just isn't meant to be. I already have one little angel-I am
truly blessed. There is ALWAYS HOPE!
Nancy H
For me, dealing with a negative cycle depends on how hard it
hits me. Sometimes, I lean on my husband's shoulders and cry.
Other times, I seek solitude in my garden and pull weeds out
with a vengence.
In the beginning, I cried a lot but as time has gone by, my
determination wins over and I then refuse to cry. I seek
comfort in prayer and usually indulge myself in a treat, whether
it be dinner with my husband at a nice restaurant or spending a
day with our dog at the park.
I'm a very strong person and when I receive bad news, I deal
with it, cry the disappointment out of my system and then move
on. I focus on the road ahead and plan again on what I can do,
trying not to make the same mistakes that I may have before.
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