I'd like to give you a little background about how I chose the Leader I am soliciting to be my mentor/sponsor. When I started La Leche League meetings over a year ago, I attended a group 30 minutes from my home. The meetings were held at a time that worked for my family and I really don't mind the outing. After attending a couple meetings, I officially joined the group, paying my dues for the year. When my sister-in-law's son arrived and she became interested in attending a LLL meeting, I offered to accompany her to a meeting in her city, also about 30 minutes from my home. I hoped she would be more comfortable at the meeting if I went with her. Much to my chagrin, my sister-in-law decided not to breastfeed and therefore wasn't interested in attending the meeting. I had already made arrangements with my family to go to the meeting, so I decided to go anyway. I was terribly sad for my sister-in-law and nephew. I kept thinking that she just doesn't know what they are missing out on. I found great comfort in attending the meeting. The meeting served as sort of a mourning process for me. While at the meeting I discovered the Leader lives less than a mile from me and was interested in starting a group in our city. I was thrilled. I committed to myself to attend another meeting and mention becoming a Leader and helping her to organize and start a group in our city while still being part of my original group. She seemed excited by the idea, which excited me even more. It seems this prelude has gone on far too long, but I wanted to make clear why I was getting the help of a Leader from a group other than my own and why my group continues to be such an important part of my learning.
So, with great excitement, enthusiasm, and anxiety, I contacted the La Leche League Leader who lives near me about becoming a Leader myself. Although she was busy, she was kind enough to make time to discuss the possibility of me becoming a Leader. She explained that there is some required as well as suggested reading, I would need to write "My Mothering Story" and make application to La Leche League International. I explained that I was very excited to get started and asked about approximately how much time it usually took to become accredited. She explained that 6 - 8 months is not unusual from start to finish.
In the process of getting to know her and discussing my family, I felt it critical to be frank and open, especially when (hopefully) we will be working together to start a group. I explained that although I am in agreement with La Leche League philosophies, I felt that there might be a hitch. I work part-time and returned to work when my son was very young; 3 months. I know that having mother and baby separated for any extended period of time is definitely NOT part of La Leche Leagues philosophy. Sadly I could hear the concern in her voice. I told her that although I understand and agree with the philosophy, it just wasn't a reality for me. I attempted to make a less than ideal situation as good as possible. I told her about having pumped for almost 18 months. I told her about going to work VERY early in the morning so I could have the most time possible with my son while he was awake. I explained that I have often been used as a resource for moms who have to return to work. I told her that I believe I am a success story… well, as much of success as possible under the circumstances. I appreciate that she didn't hide from me the possibility that La Leche League International would not except my application. I was terribly bummed out by all of this. My phone call of excitement and enthusiasm had turned into one of major disappointment.
Thankfully we were headed camping the evening I talked to her. I was in a sad sort of funk that I didn't know if I could get out of. I was glad I would see my other sister-in-law who had successfully breastfed 3 kids and knows of my interest in becoming a Leader. I was looking forward to venting my frustration and getting over this emotional hump. I'm sure you're wondering, "Why wouldn't you go to your husband with this?" Well, I needed to get over being upset about it, form a plan and explain the situation to him in a fashion that didn't make him feel as though somehow the situation was "his fault". I have a husband who wants to "fix" everything and if he can't he gets pretty frustrated. Explaining that I may not be able to do something I really am dedicated to because I work would cause him to react negatively. He sometimes forgets that me working is a family decision and NOT a reflection on his ability to provide (which is crazy since he is an excellent provider). I also didn't want him to have negative feelings about LLL. So I waited to talk to him until I was feeling better.
I talked to my sister-in-law about the situation without getting too wrapped around the axle. I gave myself time to calm down and look on the situation rationally rather than emotionally. I was thrilled by how supportive she was in offering suggestions as to how to present myself to LLLI so that they would understand my situation. Later that weekend I told my husband about the phone call and my disappointment. I explained that I have a plan for how to deal with this and we'll just have to see what happens. His reply, "It would be their loss if they didn't accept you!"
So, I've started re-reading "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" with highlighter in hand. I'm planning to start "My Mothering Story" within the next few weeks. I'm looking forward to moving forward on this project with optimism.
