Kenyatta:
This is a question that has become more familiar to me than the greeting Good Morning, since Christian passed the one year mark. As soon as my co workers see the pump on my shoulder, it's the familiar gaze ... then The Question... I used to get extremely agitated and a bit defensive and give them MORE than my .02 cents worth ... but now, I'm a little more flip with my responses.
Like: "WHY, are you jealous?"
While I don't walk around preaching the Pro's of breastfeeding, I DON'T stand for people questioning how long I choose to feed Christian.
Selena:
Sometimes I really feel like an idiot! I personally know NO ONE who has bf, knew very little about it, and never had the desire to bf until a couple of months ago. However, last year I kept noticing that someone had put a chair in the bathroom at work. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Finally, one day I walked in and saw a woman sitting in it with a machine I'd never seen before on the counter. Even in my ignorance, I knew immediately what it was. And, even in my pro-formula state of mind, all I could think of was how neat it was that she was doing that for her baby (I had the lazy factor frame of mind). I found out a few weeks later that a woman had actually walked into the bathroom and said to her, "Do you have to do that in here? Can't you do that at home?". I was completely floored and NEVER forgot it. I had no idea people were so brainless. Of course, now I read all of your posts and see that there is obviously an endless supply of nitwits out there! Ahhh naivete.....it was nice while it lasted! Guess I need to get with the real world!
Alissakae:
Whether you nurse your baby 3 days or 3 years, you can always run into the people who feel so inadequate or guilty about failing to breastfeed their own children that they say asinine things. I nursed my last 2 children until they were about 3 years old, and we had the SMOOTHEST "terrible two's"! I wish I had been smart enough to keep nursing that long with my others! So....if my child is healthy and happy, I'm healthy and happy, my life and my husband's life is easier, what do I care what ignoramuses think? LOL. It really is hard, though, to deal with rudeness...especially when you have all those lactation hormones making you emotional. Oh, well, I wouldn't trade the extra cuddling and love we shared for anything!
Lucia:
Just a quick mention that bottlefeeding Moms don't have an exclusive license on rude comments. When Buggy was discharged from NICU, he came home on expressed breastmilk because he was too early and sickly to get on and stay on. I had to add a preemie nutrient to the expressed milk to boost the calories, and it turned the milk a yellowish color.
I live in a very pro-breastfeeding neighborhood, and I had several people come up to look in my stroller. Immediately, they would say something like, "He's so small! What's WRONG with him?" As if that wasn't bad enough, they would then see me pulling a preemie bottle with a suspicious looking liquid in it out of the apnea monitor bag and say, "I can't believe you're not breastfeeding him with all his problems! Don't you CARE? Breastmilk is what he needs more than THAT!"
Like a knife every time. I wanted to be able to breastfeed him "from the source" so desparately. I felt attacked by the women I looked up to as a new mother. Again, and again, I would explain that it was expressed breastmilk, but eventually I got tired of explaining something that wasn't ANYONE'S business anyway.
Just wanted to remind everyone (nobody here, just a general "everyone", LOL) who might feel compelled to look askance at a bottlefeeding mom that you don't always know what you are looking at...
Sherrie:
I know how you feel, Seth was early, 31 weeker, I too pumped, added the fortifier and fed my little son with preemie bottles for several weeks. He was too small and weak to latch on properly. He came home at 5 weeks, 4 pounds and only 16 inches long, with the apnea monitor attached around the clock. We tried and tried to nurse, but he just could not do it. Finally at 8 weeks of age, the lactation consultant that we worked with helped him learn to latch onto a breast shield, then eventually to my nipple. I know how if feels to keep telling people, it is breastmilk not formula.
I got to the point that I did not care what other people said or thought. I knew that he was getting what he needed (just not in the traditional way)
I am glad that we have pumping/feeding rooms at the hospital I work at, so pumping is no problem, and I don't get looked at strangely. Comments are still made about the fact that it takes time and that he is old enough to quit, but, I just remind them that he is my child and I will do what I feel and know in my heart is right.
Paula:
Oh man!
Some of your stories are so terrible. I can't imagine keeping my wits about me to say something "smart" My son will be 2 in a couple weeks and since he doesn't BF often during the day, only at bedtime, I haven't had too many of these "lovely" comments to deal with... Most folks at work ask, "Are you still doing that?", or "How long do you have to do that?" This was when I was still pumping... I would use the opportunity to try to inform them that "extended BFing" isn't a bad thing...
Almost like, "didn't you know that Dr. and scientist and Mom's have found it to be the MOST beneficial thing for moms and babies" - I tried to be positive and remember that they weren't trying to be rude, mostly curious or uninformed... thankfully I've never had to a stranger say anything to me... I worry I'd say something stupid that reflected a "less than proud" stance - which IS NOT the case. Besides, what is that stranger doing staring at your boob???? Hello
Get and give support! Smile at the Bfing mom at the mall. Offer to get her a glass of water or play with her other toddler so she isn't trying to manage two kids at once.
if you have any questions or comments!