I'm 42 years old and my daughter is 2 years old now. My birth story isn't too dramatic, but having had three miscarriages previously it sure was a miracle! I should also add that even though I had all the tests, my husband and I decided not find out the baby's sex before the birth because we felt the surprise should be part of the whole experience.

      Since I had some experience with labor pains (which for me were like mega cramps with major back squeezes) with the miscarriages, I kind of new what I was in for and wasn't too worried about that. It seems dumb now, but I really wanted my water to break first before labor started so I would know it was really labor and they wouldn't send me home from the hospital! I didn't realize that if your water breaks first the hospital won't let you get off the bed or move around.

      Well, I got my wish two days before my due date around 2:00 a.m. on a Friday night when I got up to go to the bathroom, a regular occurance, and I felt a gush of water as I stood up. My husband was still sleeping and I didn't wake him up right away. I wanted to remember that moment, so I stood in the room with baby thoughts running through my mind and thinking "this is really it!" I did a little happy dance and then woke my husband up. I thought I was really calm, but my husband says now that I was a lunatic. After running around trying to get together all the stuff that the birthing classes told me I would need and not remembering any of it, we finally made it to the hospital.

      Labor didn't start right away so I was given medication to induce labor. I had to wear an elastic "girdle" that slips on over your tummy, no mean feat to pull off when your tummy sticks out to China, and they slipped an instrument under it which is attached to a monitor that registers your contractions. When the pains started they were pretty close together right away, but I could look at the monitor and see when they were going to start, reach their peak, and then end. It made it easier knowing what was going on and that there was a definite end to the contraction! I had already decided that I wanted an epidural when the time came (you have to be at a certain point in labor before you can have one) and so when my doctor asked me, I said yes. The hardest part of the epidural was trying to bend my belly over a pillow so they could insert the needle in my back. It stung for a second and then....no contractions! I could still see them on the monitor, though, so when the doctor told me to push I knew exactly when. For first time mommies, pushing is almost exactly the same as pushing out a bowel movement, as yucky as that sounds, but my sister, who is a labor delivery nurse, explained to me that the baby has to go around a lot of places inside and that's what gets the baby out - which is the main goal and doctors don't care if anything else happens along the way.

      The doctor was in and out of the room as there were five other women giving birth at the same time I was, but the nurse was always there and she was a great comfort and help. I was still pushing as I heard the other newborns arrive. During a couple of pushes, the doctor asked if my husband would like to see the baby's head as it came down past the cervix and there was a lot of oohing and ahhing. I remember asking what color the hair was and the doctor laughed and said it was a little too damp to tell. The only trouble was that the baby kept slipping back inside after every push (everyone said it was going to be a boy because it was so stubborn) . I can't remeber now how long I pushed , but it was a few hours (it didn't really seem that long and I was willing to try more) and my doctor said I needed a C-section as my water had already broken so long ago (it was now about 11:00 or so the next day) and it was much safer for the baby. All I could think of is that I wanted to see this child as soon as possible and it didn't matter how it happened, so I really wasn't to scared or disappointed. My husband told me later he was very worried about me and the baby, but I knew it would be alright.

      They wheeled me into the operating room and set up. Eventually they let my husband in (looking pretty cute in his hopital greens). Since I had already had the epidural they just added another bag to the IV, along with some other drugs. A drape was hung over my stomach so I couldn't see what they were doing, unless I looked at a reflection in the overhead light. My husband sat on a chair at the side of the drape so he could look either at me or what they what they were doing. I didn't look at the reflection in the light, but my husband, who is not squeamish, gave me a "blow by blow", which was a little more than I needed to know, but made me a part of what was going on. The doctors and nurses were great, kidding around and laughing, but serious about what they were doing at the same time. I felt really comfortable with them. It didn't take long, about 15 minutes or so from when they started, when the doctor made a little joke about making us wait to know what sex the baby was and then I heard "It's a girl!" I'm pretty sure I yelled "Yeah!" and then everyone in the room joined in. I looked at my husband to see if he was disappointed (as everyone was saying it was going to be a boy) and he looked like he was a little, but as the nurse came around the drape with the littlest, tiniest bundle in her arms and handed her to my husband (I couldn't hold her because my arms were all taped up with IV's) he got the most awed expression on his face and she's been Daddy's little girl ever since. He held her to me so I could touch her and then he handed her back so they could do all those new baby tests. I didn't have too hard a time recovering from the C-section. It did hurt and I was scared for a while even to go to the bathroom because I was afraid I was going to rip the stitches out, but every day got a little easier and I'm kind of fond and proud of that little scar now.

      It' s hard to admit it did take a little while to realize I was a mother and I was a little worried there was something wrong with me because I didn't get all goo goo about Elizabeth right away. I liked taking care of Elizabeth and I breast fed her, but it wasn't until she was about two or three months old when one day while I was giving her a bath, a sudden rush of such overwheming love came over me and I looked at her in wonder and said to her "Oh my gosh, your my daughter and I love you!" That feeling has grown every day since and no matter what happened during the pregnancy or delivery, I am so grateful to have experienced all of it, especially now when she can say, "I love you too, Mommy".