Wesley's Birth By Melissa Print
Birth Stories - Complicated Birth Stories
Tuesday, 03 February 2009 07:46
Well this is a sad story but want to share it in case there are other moms out there that had the same experience. It was in June 1996 and everything with my pregnancy was going great. My weight was good and the baby moved constantly. In fact so much, I always told him to calm down that mom needs to breath, kiddingly of course. This was my first baby and I was so excited I had the nursury all done and waited patiently. It was a few days before the birth that I noticed that I wasn't feeling well. Just kind of knowing that something was wrong. Well even though I was going to the doctor every week now it just so happened that the doctor's office was closed and had to wait for a two week appt. By then it was too late.

I went into labor around 11pm the night of June 29th and instead of going to the hospital right away, I just stayed in bed and breathed until the pain was worse. By 6am I was ready to go to the hospital. So my husband and I went thinking that the next time I come in the front door, I will be bringing home a real baby. When I got to the emergency room and check in and filled out all the paperwork they took me to a room where they checked for the baby's heartbeat and my vitals as well. Then the bad news came. The nurse could not find my baby's heartbeat.

She said don't worry that sometimes the stethoscope runs out of batteries so she got another one. By that time I was in shock and crying to my husband that they are crazy and that my baby had a heartbeat. The nurse came back and tried again only to find there really wasn't a heartbeat. I then went through an ultrasound to confirm it and through 6 more hours of labor and heartache while praying to God that the doctors were wrong with all thier medical equipment and that my baby would be born alive but to no avail Wesley Edward was born stillborn.

On top of losing my baby, the doctors did not cut me so I tore so badly that I had 60 or more stiches in my bottom but believe it or not I didn't feel that pain like I felt the pain of my baby's death.

I would have taken any pain or torture if it meant my baby live. He was so healthy and the doctors never knew why such a healthy infant died. There have been speculations that the cord may have strangled him and the fact that the placenta was not normal.

The cord of the placenta was connected to the side of the placenta instead of in the middle. I guess we will never know the cause until one day we meet God and I can finally meet my baby I never had the chance to know.

My husband and I had a funeral for him and refused an autopsy I figured my baby had been through enough. The guilt that lied within me then and today will never be let down.

Since then I have had 3 other children and they are healthy and more loved than you could ever know. I know that time heals all wounds but this is one wound that will never heal. Thanks for reading this.