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Our first baby, Audrey Jean Lennon came into the world at home on February
25th 1997 at 4.30pm. She was greeted by her Mum and Dad, and midwives Sara
Day and Karen Robb. Our friend Heather also assisted during much of the
labour, but missed the birth itself by only a few minutes.
Mark and I had decided before she was even conceived that we wanted to
have our baby at home in water with a midwife. We found out we were pregnant
on July 6th 1996 while in Victoria visiting Mark's parents. It was a pretty
exciting time for us and we had a hard time not telling everyone we knew and
then some. When we got back we went to interview Sara Day and right away we
knew she was going to help us have our baby.
Most of our friends and family at first thought that a home water birth was
pretty weird, even dangerous but all along I just KNEW that it was the right
thing for us to do. I had an overwhelming sense that my body was capable of
bringing our baby into the world without any high tech gear or drugs. I
wondered all along if my instincts were right, having never done this
before, but decided that a positive attitude about our upcoming birth
grounded in reality was a good thing for me and my baby.
The pregnancy went by without a hitch as I intuitively knew it would. Both
Mark and I are professional trumpet players and I practised and performed up
until the day before she was born. Funny thing - now she seems to be calmed
by loud brass music! I don't know if she remembers but we used to talk to
her at night before she was born. We'd tell her all about what was going on,
about the kitties and Murray the dog and how excited we all were about her
coming. I had a dream half way through it was a girl - it was so vivid and
the weird thing is my mother had the same dream when she was pregnant with me.
The due date was March 12th 1997 but Sara seemed to think it would be late
and we'd read that first babies are usually late so we thought it would
probably come by March 20th. But by the middle of February I was ready to go
anytime. I wasn't that big but I felt huge and uncomfortable and was wishing
it would come sooner. I was getting up at night alot to pee and we figured
later that it was because the head was pretty low. About a week before the
birth I got a really bad cold and that made me even more uncomfortable. To top
it all off I was trying to practice for a big concert in Red Deer that I had
lots of solos in. I was still thinking I had lots of time to relax and get
ready and was really looking forward to it.
But my little sweetpea had other plans. On Saturday February 22nd, the day
of the concert in Red Deer I started to lose the mucous plug, but there were
no contractions yet. We were totally unprepared and hadn't even gotten half
of the stuff that Sara said we needed for a home water birth. So after
consulting with Sara I sent Mark out shopping while I drove to Red Deer for
the dress rehearsal and concert with the symphony. On the way I was talking
to the baby, saying that it had to wait till after Monday to come and before
next Saturday because I had a concert on Monday and one on Saturday. The
concert in Red Deer went off without a hitch and we got home with no problems.
Two days later on Monday nothing else had happened so we thought the baby
had decided to wait a bit longer. I was booked to teach a clinic and play at
a funeral on Tuesday but I had this weird feeling of really not wanting to
do either of them and I didn't know why. I found out why at 1am on Tuesday
when the contractions started - she had listened to what I had said in the
car about waiting till after Monday!
I had gone to bed kind of late that night and couldn't sleep 'cause I just
couldn't get comfortable. So I got up after a while and played cards on the
computer and then tried to go to sleep again but no luck. Then I started to
realise that I was feeling uncomfortable at regular intervals, every few
minutes, and that it felt kind of like cramps. When I had to empty my bowels
at 2am I knew this was it. I waited a bit longer to make sure and then
finally at 2.30am I woke Mark and told him the show was on. He was really
sweet and stayed up with me all night.
At 3.45am we phoned Sara to let her know what was happening and she said it
sounded like the real thing. We started writing down the time and length of
the contractions. They felt like bad menstrual cramps and were coming every
3 to 4 minutes but they weren't too bad. Sara said to call her again when
things got more intense and she would come over. At 6am we phoned our friend
Heather to let her know 'cause she had agreed to be there to help us, and
Mark phoned the bus company to let them know he wasn't coming to work that
day. Also we cancelled my gigs and the students that were supposed to come
that day.
Heather came over with Jessye the dog and Paul came over and took her and
Murray to his place for the day. Mark made breakfast, scrambled eggs with
toast and veggie bacon but I wasn't that hungry. It was a pretty relaxed
atmosphere and though we were excited and surprised things were happening
this early there was a sense of everything being right. We phoned my Mum to
let her know the baby was coming but we couldn't find Mark's parents. They
were holidaying in California and had their cell phone turned off!
Around 9am I got in the bathtub - it felt much better and Karen called to
say she was coming over to check on us. The contractions were still coming
every few minutes and it felt good if I moaned in a low voice through them.
When Karen checked me she found I was already dilated 4cm so we were all
thrilled to have gotten so far with so little effort. She also checked the
heartbeat and my blood pressure and said that everything was good. She had
phoned Sara and they were a bit worried because I hadn't had any sleep
since Sunday night and I was sick with a cold. They decided to see if they
could slow down the labour by giving me a drink so I could get some sleep
but it didn't work - this baby was determined to come.
Pretty soon Heather had to leave to play a kiddies concert with the CPO but
she promised she would be back soon. I was in and out of the tub all morning
and Karen stayed with us getting the tub ready and making sure we were OK. I
tried to lay down a few times and rest between contractions and Sara phoned
to say she would be over around 12.30pm after some appointments. When
Heather came back the contractions were a bit harder and it felt good to
have someone rub down my back and legs during them. Mark was busy helping
Karen get everything ready and making lunch - spiral pasta with Classico
Florentine sauce, funny how you remember the silliest details. I had a
little bit but didn't feel like too much.
After lunch Heather had to leave again for a rehearsal and at Karen's
suggestion we went for a walk to get things moving. I didn't want to go too
far so we went out to the back yard and walked around there. Now things got
more intense and I got much more serious. Mark said I kind of went into my
own zone and he followed me around the back yard feeling a bit useless. Sara
arrived around 1.30pm and once she was there I knew I would have this baby
soon - I guess subconsciously I had been waiting for her before I really got
going. I was dying to get in the tub but they wanted me to wait a bit longer
until things really got going so it wouldn't slow down the labour. After I
came inside I lay down for a while and Sara stayed with me while Mark took a
nap.
Finally around 2pm they let me get into the tub and it was bliss. They had
set it up in front of the stereo in the basement but by this time I didn't
want to listen to any music. I had always thought I'd want to listen to the
slow movement of Bruckner 7 during labour but when the time came I just
wanted quiet. I slept between contractions and Karen and Mark took turns
pouring water over my belly during them. At some point Karen checked me
again and I was 6cm dilated.
Things were getting harder now and I had to concentrate on relaxing and
thinking of "open and down" during the contractions, which were much longer
now. Sara and Karen kept telling me it would get easier when the water broke
so that kept me going. I kept thinking it would happen each contraction but
it never did. It was hard at this point but Sara encouraged me and I knew it
wouldn't be long now.
Around 4pm they suggested I get out of the tub for a minute so they could
check me and put some more hot water in. Karen checked me in the bathroom
and could feel the bag of waters bulging out and said I was fully dilated. I
could feel it too and then Karen checked again and the water broke. It came
out in a big gush into the toilet and it was a huge relief. Right away
though the contractions came hard and fast. The baby had dropped right down
and was right there. I was surprised because I thought once the water broke I
would get a break and be able to rest a bit but it didn't happen that way
for me.
They helped me get back into the tub and the next half an hour was very
intense. It was happening a bit fast for me so I was trying not to push but
my body was doing it anyway - it was like I was just along for the ride.
Pretty soon we could see the head coming out in the mirror and once I could
see that little head I knew it was really going to happen. We were having a
baby! Sara told me to put my hand down and I felt the top of my baby's
head for the first time. It was so soft and delicate.
I pushed for a little bit and then the head was ready to be born. With the
next contraction Sara coached me to huff and slowly it slid out. Mark and I
reached down to feel it and I could even feel two tiny ears. Time seemed to
stand still and I felt this calmness all of a sudden. Later as we watched
the video we heard Karen say that the cord was wrapped around the neck but
at the time I never heard that as I was in another world. The next
contraction came after a few minutes and this perfect little person made her
way into the water and into the world. She came out looking so peaceful and
wise and Karen and Mark handed her straight to me and I lay her on my chest.
She was so tiny but
somehow so wise. I couldn't believe what had just happened. It sounds corny
but it really was a miracle.
It didn't take long for her to make her first noises - just little cries of
surprise as she took her first breaths. Karen and Sara were busy checking
her heartbeat and vitals as Mark and I got to know her. After a couple of
minutes we decided to see what she was - I guess I knew all along that it
was a girl but I was scared to be too sure about it in case I was
wrong. Heather arrived a few minutes later (boy was she disappointed) and we
all admired her before Dad cut the cord.
We snuggled for a bit longer in the tub before Mark and Heather took her
and I delivered the placenta and got cleaned up. I had a tiny vaginal wall
tear that didn't need suturing but stung like hell for a while. After Karen
had finished the new-born exam I held my little girl and nursed her for the
first time. She seemed so content and calm - so unlike all the stereotypical
images we see of new-borns. She finished nursing and promptly fell asleep
while we celebrated around her.
While Karen and Sara cleaned up (I swear you couldn't tell anything had
happened once they were done), we phoned our relatives and some friends and
waited for the pizza to come. It was like a party, a couple of friends
dropped by to see her, flowers started arriving and we feasted on pizza. By
10pm we were exhausted so we sent everybody home and Mark and I crawled into
bed with our little Audrey.
Having had a birth this way I'm SO glad we went this way and would never
choose to go to a hospital. I recovered so quickly - we went to the symphony
when she was three days old and I played a concert when she was four days
old. As I write this she is a happy and healthy five month old and we can't
believe how lucky we are to have her in our lives. Our friends and family
have all been impressed with our decision to have a home birth (after the
fact) - one look at her is enough to convince them. We're practising
attachment parenting and it's working well for all of us - she literally
glows with happiness.
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