Why Should Marriage Come First Before Your Children?
For many parents, children quickly become the first priority. These little ones who depend on us for everything from food to clothing to love can demand almost all of our energy and attention. Still, it is extremely important after having children to make sure that your marriage comes first.
If your marriage is not strong, your children will be able to feel it. If husband and wife are constantly arguing and bickering, and seldom or never affectionate, children will learn to behave this way when they grow up. Children have an amazing ability to sense when things are wrong. It is important that you demonstrate the ability to work through problems together to your parents. In addition, if you are not both on the same page as parents, your parenting can become contradictory and confusing for your children.
Putting your marriage first insures that your needs are being met. When you are on an airplane, the airline attendants always tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting it on your children, so that you are stable enough to help them. It is the same way with marriage. By keeping your marriage strong, you keep yourself strong and much better able to care for your children.
Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to insure you will have a strong marriage. Communication is one of the most important ways to have a strong marriage. This is true in all of the areas of married life. A strong marriage is one in which the couple can communicate about every issue, including children, work, household management, and sex. Couples need to be able to discuss how they are feeling, both in terms of how they feel about one another but also in terms of how they are feeling about other things in life. This does not mean that the husband and wife always agree on every issue; but it does mean that each is willing to listen to the other, and to discuss their points of view.
A strong marriage is one in which the married couple spends time together. With the hectic schedule of the modern world, couples have to make time to just be alone together. This can be anything from the weekly scheduled date night to an hour or so spent together in the evening after the kids are in bed. On a regular basis, the couple in a strong marriage will do something together that they enjoy.
There are a variety of other general characteristics of a strong marriage. In a strong marriage, husband and wife are careful to avoid temptations of infidelity. In a strong marriage, couples respect one another. In a strong marriage, people are willing to admit they are wrong. People forgive one another in a strong marriage. In a strong marriage, the partners have respect for one another’s boundaries and privacy. In a strong marriage, couples are loving, avoid unnecessary criticism, and are generally polite to one another. In a strong marriage, the couple recognized that they are a team, and organize their lives as such.
By putting your marriage first, you not only help yourself and your spouse, you help your children.