When Do You Stop Trying To Save A Marriage?

A troubled marriage affects every area of life. No couple enters the state of marriage expecting to divorce. However, divorce statistics tell us that a great number of people who get married do, nevertheless, eventually get divorced. Some couples find that the vows they make during their wedding ceremony, to stick together for better and worse, are something that they are no longer willing to follow through on. When this happens, one or both of the spouses may decide that it is time to stop trying to save a marriage.

There are some circumstances in which most people would agree that divorce is a logical step. When one of the partners in a marriage, whether it is the husband or it is the wife, is physically or emotionally abusive, and unwilling or unable to get treatment for the abusive tendencies, divorce is often the only viable and logical option. A man or a woman who is in physical danger from their spouse should not stay with them. Even the most conservative of religions that look at divorce as being taboo tend to see divorce as a reasonable step in the case of physical abuse. An abusive spouse who is unwilling to get help will never change on his own; when this happens, it is probably time to stop trying to save a marriage.

This can also happen in the case of cheating. For some couples, infidelity can bring them to the point where they are no longer willing to try to save their marriage. The feelings of distrust and betrayal that comes when a wife or a husband cheats are too much to handle, and the offense often is too serious to forgive. On the other hand, many couples have weathered this sort of storm and, after a long time and a long, hard road to recovery, been able to stay together. In these instances, while the vow of fidelity has been broken, the vow to stay together for better and worse can sometimes still be kept. Here again, the couple has to be willing to try to save the marriage.

A marriage cannot be saved if both people don’t want to save it. Before jumping into divorce, many couples choose other options, such as marriage counseling or a trial separation. These can also be logical steps that may help to keep a marriage together. Ultimately, however, if one or both of the married couple are unable to work at their relationship, it may be time to stop trying to save the marriage. By recognizing when this time comes, a couple can begin working through the separation or divorce proceedings, and then try to begin the healing process.


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