Toddlers can be an enigma. One minute, your toddler may decide that she no longer knows how to feed herself, and demand at the top of her lungs that you must feed her, or even that she wants you to give her a bottle. The next minute, she might shrug off your attempts to help her get her shoes tied while you are already running late for an appointment.

Toddlers can be fiercely independent. Toddlers are in the business of becoming their own person. A toddler will often insist that he can do it himself, and that he can and must do it his own way. The attitude that accompanies this fierce independence is at once frustrating and comical for the parent. Ultimately, if a toddler is trying to be too independent, parents can lose their sense of humor about the situation and have a difficult time coping with their independent toddler.

There are, however, some things that the parents of the independent toddler can to to help cope with the toddler’s newfound independence. They include:

- Remember that a loud “NO!” often means “yes.” She’s just trying out boundaries. Instead of asking questions that can be answered yes or no, try asking more open ended questions. For example, instead of saying, “would you like to wear shorts today” you can say “would you like to wear your red shorts or your blue shorts today?”

- Be patient. This will eventually pass. All toddlers make a strive for independence at some point.

- Remember that your toddler is struggling with his independence as well. He recognizes that he needs you and that he doesn’t want to need you all at the same time, and this can be more confusing and frustrating for him than it is for you.

- Be flexible. If your toddler wants to try to tie his own shoes and you’re not running late, let him. If he thinks that he can fly off of the roof, however, you will have to step in. Know which strides for independence are important, and which ones can be left alone.

- Reward good behavior. Praise your toddler when she doesn’t struggle with you, and you’ll find that she is struggling less overall.

Posted in Baby and Toddler

Related Articles:

Why Has Our Normally Good Toddler Turned Naughty?

Helping Older Siblings To Cope With The New Baby

My Toddler Hates Wearing Clothes! Is This Normal?

My Toddler Keeps Having Tantrums Over Her Food. What Should I Do?

Coping With Stress During The Second Trimester

When Do the Toddler “Terrible Twos” End? 

When Is My Child Ready For A Toddler Bed?

How Can I Help My Children To Understand Their Sibling Rivalry?

When Should I Move My Toddler To A Big Kid Bed?

How Can We Make The Transition To A Toddler Bed?

How Can I Get My Toddler To Adjust To Our New Infant?

What Are The Signs Of Toddler Autism?