Talking To Your Toddler About Death
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Death is a hard subject to talk about with anyone. This is especially true of a toddler, who is still trying to understand much of the world around him. Talking to your toddler about death can be especially difficult when there has been a death in the family. You may be trying to deal with your own grief, and this can affect the way that you talk to your toddler about death.
However, even toddlers are aware of death. There is death in their bedtime stories, in the movies, and even the death of bugs along the sidewalk. Still, toddlers don’t naturally understand what it is that death means. They have a hard time understanding words like “never” and “forever.” It is hard for a toddler to understand that death is something that is permanent. On top of all of this, toddlers have very little if any awareness of their own mortality, that death is something that they themselves one day will experience.
A toddler might react to death in a variety of ways. He might regress in his behavior, or he may act out. Then again, he might not react much at all. Children process death in their own way and at their own pace.
One of the best things that you can do when talking to your toddler about death is to show her your own emotions. It is important for her to see how grief works, and how a death can affect a person or a family. Don’t overburden her with your emotions, but don’t hide them from her either.
Short, simplistic answers are best for toddlers when talking about death (or about much of anything!) It is important that you don’t try to pass on too much in the way of information all at once. By describing death in this way, a child can put it in real terms.
If your toddler has experienced the death of one of his parents, this can be particularly difficult. Your toddler might have concerns about who will take care of him. If grandpa used to take him fishing, he might be worried that he won’t ever be able to fish again. Make an effort to comfort his fears, and explain that there will always be someone to take care of him.
It is also important to communicate your religious beliefs to your toddler. Rather than launching into a long theological discussion about heaven, you can tell her that we will miss the person who has died, but that the person is with God in heaven and we will see the person again someday.
Finally, if at all possible, you should try to talk to your toddler about death before someone in the family dies. Having these discussions early can help the grieving process when someone does actually die.
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