The fact of the matter is that when a new baby arrives in a household certain things are going to change. There is going to be a lot more noise, first of all. You are going to be busier than you were before. There is going to be all sorts of new equipment, such as bottles, cribs, and car seats, as well as all sorts of changes in the way that parents interact with older children. Sibling rivalry is a normal and natural response from the older child who has a new baby enter the family.

One of the biggest reasons that sibling rivalry can crop up with a new baby has to do with the fact that the parents’ attention now has to be shared with the new baby. This doesn’t mean, of course, that the parents love the older child any less, or that they care for the new baby more than they care for the older sibling. It just means that a baby requires a certain amount of time, attention, and energy. This is often time, attention, and energy that used to be exclusively the purview of the older child, and it can come as quite a blow when the older child no longer has those things all to himself.

As one exasperated three year-old put the question, “Is that baby STILL here?” While this manifestation of sibling rivalry may be relatively simple and harmless, it is not uncommon for an older sibling to express feelings of sibling rivalry with the new baby in an inappropriate manner. Hitting, kicking, and even poking are things that older siblings have been known to do. To reduce this sort of sibling rivalry when you have a new baby, be sure to prepare the older child for the new baby, and to make clear what sorts of behaviors are acceptable and what sorts of behaviors are not acceptable.

While you cannot avoid sibling rivalry when there is a new baby in the home, you can certainly lessen its intensity by understanding it and being prepared for it.

Posted in Parenting

Related Articles: