Once you realize your marriage is in trouble, the worst thing you can do is bury your head in the proverbial sand. When you reach a point where you don’t know where to turn or you’re not sure how to begin to correct the difficulties, it’s vital to seek professional help. Well-meaning family and friends can unwittingly take sides and may not be objective. In a serious relationship breakdown, seeking the advice of a marriage counsellor can bring a breath of fresh air, a new perspective. Often, opening up to a total stranger can often be liberating.

Ask your doctor
Often times, a first step in seeking help for marriage problems can be a visit to the family doctor. This is a person who has a history with the family and can be trusted with highly confidential information. Your family doctor has a comprehensive list of resources and can refer you to a marriage counselor with the skills and experience to help you with your particular issues.

The phone book
The Yellow Pages has many counselling services listed within its pages. The various advertisements will provide details about the kinds of counselling offered, the locations and sometimes even the costs. Circle listings of interest and make the calls during business hours.

Referrals from friends or family
Marriage problems are not unusual. You probably know of other friends or family members who have to work at their relationships. If you’re comfortable with talking about your issues with another person, ask if they know of any effective counselors they’ve either consulted or heard recommended by others.

The Internet
The web is always a very useful resource. Do a ‘Google’ on marriage counselors and you will find not only listings of services in your area but also articles that can help and associations you can contact for individual counselors.

Emergency help lines
In your darkest hour, there are plenty of emergency help lines you can call 24/7 to talk to a real person. These services can put you in touch with counselors in your area.

When accepting the services of a marriage counselor, it’s important that both spouses are comfortable with that person. It’s counter productive to consult someone who may be ideal for one half of the couple and irritating to the other half. You also need to consider costs. There are social workers and other free-of-charge counselling services, right through to very expensive services. Seeking advice is a wonderful idea, but if the cost of that advice is going to cause further friction in the relationship, then it’s wise to find a more cost-effective solution. Social workers are highly trained and should not be overlooked as a possibility. Try also to find a counselor geographically close enough to where you are. It’s vital that once you establish a working relationship with a counsellor, you make the effort to attend sessions together.

Posted in Relationships

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