How Divorce Harms Children
Divorce can cause a lot of harm. In the struggle that is divorce, many
parents are only able to see the harm that is caused to themselves.
Unfortunately, a divorce may harm children more than even the parents.
Children are also often the ones that are given the least amount of
attention. Children can be severely traumatized by divorce, especially if
the divorce is a nasty one, and/or if there is a prolonged or an intense
custody battle.
One of the biggest areas of harm that divorce causes to children is in the
area of self-esteem. Children who go through a divorce often face issues
with self esteem. They may believe that they themselves caused the divorce,
or that they did something wrong that made mommy and/or daddy want to not be
with them.
Divorce can also harm childrens sense of security. Fears that both parents
will abandon the child are common, as are fears about what will happen to
them next. In addition, the absence of one of their parents can make the
child feel extremely lonely.
A divorce harms a familys structure and interferes with its operating
procedures. In some cases, a divorce will mean that a child literally loses
a parent, only to see them once or twice in a year, or even less. This can
also cause a child to lose contact with the family of the non-custodial
parent, as the child may be less and less likely to see those grandparents,
uncles, aunts, or cousins. Basic logistics, such as holidays, birthday
parties, and school activities are also affected by a divorce. These
separations can harm a childs social skills, as well as their sense of
self-worth.
Some of the ways that a child who has been affected by a divorce might
express the harm caused by divorce can include:
- large amounts of anger, directed both toward others and themselves
- frequent breaking of rules
- drug and/or alcohol abuse
- destructive behavior
- frequent guilt
- problems with defiance
- increasing isolation or withdrawal from friends and family
- thoughts of suicide or violence
- increased or early sexual activity
- a failure to acknowledge responsibility
Some children are harmed more by divorce than others. However, all children
will be harmed by a divorce. The things that parents do and dont do will
greatly impact exactly how much a child is harmed by the divorce. In
addition, the childs gender, age, psychological health, and maturity will
also all affect how a divorce impacts a child.
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