The fact of the matter is that, ultimately, you cannot stop sibling rivalry. Only the siblings themselves have that power. Recognizing this limitation is the first step that you need to take in an effort to try to reduce sibling rivalry, however. In addition, it is important to realize that many marriage and family experts consider sibling rivalry a normal and a natural part of growing up, and that a certain degree of sibling rivalry is to be expected.

Still, sibling rivalry can be a very frustrating thing for parents. In some cases, sibling rivalry can even take an extremely bad turn, and wind up with a situation in which one of the siblings is physically or verbally abusing the other sibling. One of the oldest stories of sibling rivalry, the story of Cain and Abel, even led to the murder of one sibling by the other. Because of this, it is important for parents to do whatever they are able to do in order to help stop sibling rivalry, or at least keep sibling rivalry to a minimum.

The first thing that you can do to help stop sibling rivalry is to teach your children conflict resolution skills. You need to help the siblings learn to first express how they are feeling, and to identify what exactly it is that is causing them to feel that way. Once they are able to communicate their own needs and wants, the next step is to teach them to listen to their sibling’s needs and wants. By helping them to say what they need, and to listen to others’ needs, you will give your children the tools that they need not only to stop sibling rivalry, but to resolve various other conflicts in life as well.

In many cases, sibling rivalry is best dealt with in a non-direct manner. Getting in the middle of a sibling dispute will often only unite the siblings against you. Instead, it may be best to talk to the siblings one-on-one, after the fact, and to help them then identify what caused the conflict and what could be done to avoid the conflict in the future.

With a lot of patience, understanding, and good communication skills, you can greatly reduce, if not stop, sibling rivalry.

Posted in Parenting

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