Getting to Know the Birth Mother before Adoption Begins

Depending on the type of adoption that you are seeking, you may have the opportunity to get to know the birth mother before the adoption begins. Even if you are not going to be involved in an open adoption, it is still a very common practice for you to be able to meet the birth mother. There are usually questions that the birth mother will like to ask. She may want to know things about you, about your family, your interests, your religion, activities you are involved in, your parenting theories, and any number of other things.

At the same time, there are thing you will want to get to know about the birth mother before adoption begins, as well. You will want to know what the family’s medical history is. You will want to be able to gather information about the child’s father, as well. This will help the adoptive parents to get an idea of whether the birth father may try to stop the adoption. If the adoption is a closed adoption, you may only learn the birth mother’s first name, and not other specifically identifying information. If yours is going to be an open adoption, the process of getting to know the birth mother may, obviously, be much more involved than a single meeting. It may involve a process by which you get to know the birth mother very well over the period of her pregnancy.

Getting to know the birth mother before adoption begins not only gives you information that may be useful or valuable to you, it also gives you information that your adopted child will one day want to know. By being able to tell your child what their birth mother was like, you may be more able to explain the reasons why the birth mother put the child up for adoption, and also to help your adopted child with his or her own identity issues as they relate to the adoption.

Getting to know the birth mother before adoption begins is, in many cases, something that you will want to pursue if it is at all possible.


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