When we think about the relationship that twins share, we often think about an obscure, even mystical, connection that no other two people, except for other twins, of course, can ever experience. There are even stories about twins who have such a strong connection that they can instinctually feel their twin’s pain, or that they can instinctively know when their twin is in trouble. While these images present twins as the closest of all siblings, the fact of the matter is that twins are just as susceptible to sibling rivalry as other siblings are. Sibling rivalry occurs among twins as often as it does among siblings that are not twins.

The causes of sibling rivalry occurring among twins can be very different than the causes of sibling rivalry among other siblings, however. For example, in other families, a child may feel jealous of the privileges that an older child has. With twins, generally speaking, they will have the same privileges as their sibling. On the other hand, it is just as common for a twin to feel as though one parent favors their sibling over them as it is for other siblings. Just because twins share the same birthday and may look alike, the fact of the matter is that their personalities can be very different. So can the way that they relate to their parents. While parents try, in general, to be fair, it is not uncommon for a parent to wind up favoring one sibling, even if that is one of a set of twins, over another sibling.

Sibling rivalry does not occur among twins due to a difference in age, obviously. Still, while twins may not have this particular risk factor or cause for sibling rivalry, twins do have a unique situation that can lead to sibling rivalry. Twins may tire of people mistaking them for their sibling, and they may wind up resenting their sibling for it. Sibling rivalry may occur among twins if they have to share space, clothes, and even friends as well. The fact of the matter is that sharing space such as a bedroom can cause sibling rivalry to occur among any set of siblings, and twins are not excluded from this situation.

There is no hard research that suggests that sibling rivalry occurs any more or any less often among twins than it does among other siblings.

Posted in Parenting

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