Creating A Bond That Will Last A Lifetime – Step-Parents

Subsequent marriages are never easy, especially if kids are involved. However, the challenges can be met head on and overcome. One typical problem is that of the step parent. The step parent is not the biological parent and has no rights to act as one, but then again the step parent is an authority figure and deserves respect from the step children. However, this does not always occur. What step parents need to understand is in order for their to be peace and happiness a bond must be formed. The following tips will help step parents bond with their step children. Tip #1 You Are Not the Parent A common phrase step children like to say to step parents is You arent my dad/mom, and I dont have to listen to you. This is heard over and over by the step parents and it can become very painful and frustrating. However, the step parent has to take control of the situation. First, the step parent must realize what the child is saying is true. They are not the biological parent and if the child has two biological parents involved in his life then that is enough. You should simply be there as an adult figure, a friend and confidante. Sit down with your step children and explain to them that you understand you are not their parent and that you arent going to try to be. But, you are going to be there for them, support them, love them, and care for them. And, you will respect them and their feelings and hope they will do the same for you. Simply showing the children you are not there to try and control them might help you with bonding. Tip #2 Support the Step Child Now that your step child knows you are not trying to parent him but rather befriend him you should support him. Go to his ballgames, concerts, or other extracurricular activities. Invite him to throw a football in the backyard or to help you wax your antique car. Doing things with your step child will help you create a bond that will last a lifetime and this is really important. Tip #3 Never Interfere A step parent may want to interfere in the parenting style of the spouse and other biological parent, but it is best not to. If a step parent has specific concerns then they should be taken up with the spouse and nobody else. Being a step parent has very fine line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior and it is difficult to know what that is at first. But, a step parent should try to avoid interfering and fewer problems will result.


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