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Divorce Articles
In the United States and other Western nations, divorce has become an increasing reality in the past century. What was once considered to be a permanent institution has come to the point where nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. What are the major reasons that couples divorce? Some studies have looked at divorce, but come to different conclusions about what is at the root of divorce. However, there are some common reasons for divorce that doe come up again and again.
There are some circumstances in which most people would agree that divorce is the inevitable result. One major reason couples divorce is when one of the partners in a marriage, whether it is the husband or it is the wife, is physically or emotionally abusive, and unwilling or unable to get treatment for the abusive tendencies, divorce is often the most common result. A man or a woman who is in physical danger from their spouse should not stay with them. Even the most conservative of religions that look at divorce as being taboo tend to see divorce as a reasonable step in the case of physical abuse. An abusive spouse who is unwilling to get help will never change on his own; when this happens, it is probably time to end a marriage.
A cheating spouse is another one of the major reasons couples divorce. The feelings of distrust and betrayal that comes when a wife or a husband cheats are too much to handle, and the offense often is too serious to forgive. On the other hand, many couples have weathered this sort of storm and, after a long time and a long, hard road to recovery, been able to stay together. In these instances, while the vow of fidelity has been broken, the vow to stay together for better and worse can sometimes still be kept. Here again, the couple has to be willing to try to save the marriage.
There are other reasons for divorce, as well, besides these major reasons. Sometimes couples cannot come to agreements about children, either about whether to have them or how to raise them once they have them. Other times, difficulties with in-laws, other family, or friends can lead to a divorce. Another reason for divorce can be a conflict of personal beliefs or philosophy. Sometimes, during the dating and honeymoon periods, religious or political differences don’t seem very important, but after a few months or a few years they can be a reason for divorce. In other cases, financial problems become reasons for divorce, where the couple cannot agree about how finances are to be spent, or where money becomes more important than their relationship.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
Picking a divorce lawyer can be a difficult task. It is also an important one; much of your future rests on how your divorce comes out. By carefully picking your divorce lawyer, you can help to make your divorce as beneficial and as easy as it can be.
The first thing to do when picking a divorce lawyer is to ask your family and your friends if there is an attorney that they can recommend. While not all attorneys handle divorce cases, they may be able to offer you a referral to an attorney that does work on divorce cases. You can also contact your local and state legal bar associations to get a referral for an attorney. Some employers offer legal assistance as well that may be able to help you through your divorce. As a last resort, you can always find lawyers in the phone book.
Once you have a few divorce lawyers to pick from, you should try to meet with at least a couple of them. Many divorce lawyers offer a free initial consultation. This visit is your opportunity to make sure that the attorney will be the best one for you. Some questions you might ask a potential divorce lawyer can include:
- What are the lawyer’s rates?
- Does the lawyer have to be paid all at once, or can you pay you in installments?
- What sort of outcome can you expect?
- How often should you hear from your attorney?
- How quickly will the attorney return your phone calls?
- How many divorce cases has the lawyer handled?
- Who can you speak with in the office if there is an emergency?
You should also ask for a list of references of clients that the lawyer has worked with before. You should contact some of these references, and ask general questions about how satisfied they were with the lawyer. Also, because you will probably be dealing with the administrative assistant or receptionist quite a bit, you should try to spend a few minutes with her to determine how responsive she seems to be and whether she is cordial and generally nice.
By picking the right divorce lawyer, you can minimize some of the difficulties that come with divorce.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
Filing divorce papers can be an extremely confusing thing. Most people have no idea how to start. If you are in the unfortunate situation of needing to file for divorce, there are certain things you should do to protect yourself and to help your divorce go smoothly.
First, you’ll want to make sure you have all of your personal and business paperwork together before you file divorce papers. Do you have joint possessions, such as a house? You will need the deed or the mortgage contract. Do you have joint debt? You will need records of this. You will want to have checking account records, retirement plan paperwork, and just about everything else you can think of. Pull all of this sort of paperwork together into a single file.
Next, you should get an idea of how you want to split things. When it is time to file divorce papers, unless a specific material possession is noted in the divorce decree, you will likely have no legal standing if there is a dispute later on. During this process, you should also decide how you feel about child custody, as well as child support or alimony.
Once you have done these things, it is time to actually begin the process of filing divorce papers. The actual cost of filing for a divorce varies from state to state, but is generally less than $100. While you can technically file for divorce without an attorney, it is almost always best to at least consult with an attorney before filing for divorce. An attorney can do anything from consulting with you to explain how the process of filing for divorce works in your state or locality, all the way through helping you file the paperwork. Because divorce laws differ so much from state to state, this is something that you must do.
During the process of filing for divorce, you should keep track of all of your financial transactions. If your spouse promises something to you, make sure that it is put into the divorce decree. Write down dates and times of your conversations, and make sure that you check with your attorney before you sign anything, to make sure that you fully understand what it is that you are being asked to sign.
If you have very few possessions and no children, and are still amiable with your spouse, filing divorce papers can still become very messy. However, in these instances, there will obviously be less paperwork, and probably a lesser amount of time that you have to spend with an attorney.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
Choosing the right divorce lawyer can be a difficult task. It is also an important one; much of your future rests on how your divorce comes out. By carefully choosing your divorce lawyer, you can help to make your divorce as beneficial and as easy as it can be.
When the time comes to choose a divorce lawyer, you should start by asking your family and your friends if there is an attorney that they can recommend. While not all attorneys handle divorce cases, they may be able to offer you a referral to an attorney that does work on divorce cases. You can also contact your local and state legal bar associations to get a referral for an attorney. Some employers offer legal assistance as well that may be able to help you through your divorce. As a last resort, you can always find lawyers in the phone book; if you can, try to avoid choosing a divorce lawyer in this way.
Once you have a few divorce lawyers to choose from, you should try to meet with at least a couple of them. Many divorce lawyers offer a free initial consultation. This visit is your opportunity to make sure that the attorney will be the best one for you. Some questions you might ask a potential divorce lawyer can include:
- What are the lawyer’s rates?
- Does the lawyer have to be paid all at once, or can you pay you in installments?
- What sort of outcome can you expect?
- How often should you hear from your attorney?
- How quickly will the attorney return your phone calls?
- How many divorce cases has the lawyer handled?
- Who can you speak with in the office if there is an emergency?
You should also ask for a list of references of clients that the lawyer has worked with before. You should contact some of these references, and ask general questions about how satisfied they were with the lawyer. Also, because you will probably be dealing with the administrative assistant or receptionist quite a bit, you should try to spend a few minutes with her to determine how responsive she seems to be and whether she is cordial and generally nice.
If you take the time to choose the right divorce lawyer, you can minimize some of the difficulties that come with divorce. The choice of divorce lawyer takes work, but the work eventually pays off.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
The cost of a divorce will necessarily vary from one couple to the next. A divorce will, of course, cost everyone involved a great deal of time and energy. The divorce agreement will split property and money along some sort of line, and each part of property that goes to the other person can be considered a part of the overall divorce cost as well. In addition to the loss of property that comes with the divorce agreement, a couple will generally have to pay court fees and legal fees. If you enter into mediation, you will obviously have to pay mediation fees as well.
For a couple with little in terms of assets and no children, a divorce will likely cost at least $500 per person. This includes as much as $200 in court fees (depending on your location) and the minimum sorts of attorney fees that each person will want to have.
Each discussion with an attorney, each letter that the attorney writes, each negotiation, and each disagreement between the spouses will cost money. The more of these issues that the couple can work out between themselves, without having to negotiate through their lawyers, will save them money. In addition, the attorneys will generally charge fees for preparing the divorce documents, and may collect the court fees themselves, and then they pay the court.
If a couple has a large amount of property, or if there have been children as a result of the marriage, the cost of the divorce begins to increase greatly. Couples should be extremely careful here; it is not uncommon for a couple to spend several hundred dollars between them negotiating over certain assets whose value is well under the cost of the attorney fees. As a general rule, the more that you are able to work out between yourselves, the less that your divorce will cost.
For couples who have children, there may be additional costs. If a parent is fighting for custody or shared custody, they must typically provide a certain type of living arrangement as a part of the divorce agreement or as a requirement of the court. Thus, a man who moves out of his house into an apartment must typically move into an apartment with an extra bedroom, for the times that he has custody of his children. A woman whose husband was handy with cars or around the house will begin to have to pay for services that previously were free or cheap. These intangible costs can wind up, in the end, being greater than the costs involved in the actual divorce process.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
The time that it takes to get a divorce will vary greatly from one situation to the next. There are a variety of factors that can influence how long it does take to get a divorce. These can include:
- Where you live. Some states have a mandatory waiting period to get a divorce. How long this waiting period is can range up to six months after the original divorce paperwork is filed.
- How much you and your spouse are able to cooperate. If you or your spouse are not able to resolve the issues between you through a dialogue, it will greatly increase the time it takes to get a divorce. If both parties are willing to communicate civilly, it will reduce the amount of time and money that it takes to finalize the divorce. If the divorce is “uncontested” - that is, if both parties can work out the divorce agreement between themselves and their lawyers, the divorce will go much more quickly.
- If you agree to have a mediated divorce. If you are not communicating with your spouse, but you are both willing to go through mediation, your divorce will take more time than an uncontested divorce, but not as long as it would if you are not open to mediation. Mediation can sometimes take as little as an hour or two, or it can take several hours over a several day or several week period.
- If you are not communicating at all with your spouse, and unwilling to go through mediation. If you are in a divorce that is not amicable, or at least a divorce with open lines of communication, the time that your divorce will take becomes more and more. Your divorce could drag on and on, lasting months or years, as your lawyers try to work things out and you eventually get to court. In these circumstances, you should plan on your divorce taking at least a year, plus any waiting period that is described by local law.
Even in the worst of cases, divorce proceedings rarely last more than two years. In an ideal situation, it can last for just a few weeks or months.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
Divorce is almost never the first option of choice when a marriage is troubled. Yet, many people who find themselves in marital difficulties don’t know where to begin to stop their marriage from falling apart. How one stops a divorce from happening is not always readily apparent or easy. In the United States, somewhere around half of marriages end in divorce. Any number of troubles, such as infidelity, arguments about children, problems with in-laws, etc. can cause trouble in a marriage. Fortunately, there are ways to help a troubled marriage.
A troubled marriage can only stay together as long as both parties are willing to keep working on it. The first requirement to stop a divorce from happening is that both people want to see the marriage continue and succeed. While this alone will not fix a troubled marriage, it is an important first step before anything else can happen. If only one of the partners is devoted to saving the marriage, divorce is likely inevitable.
The next thing to do to stop a divorce from happening is to figure out exactly what the problems or issues in the marriage are. in other words, you have to ask exactly how the marriage became troubled in the first place. Was there infidelity or cheating? Are there financial problems? Are there problems with the children? Are there other outside issues, such as substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or problems with relatives or friends? Identifying the specific problem area or areas can greatly help a troubled marriage, and can keep a divorce from happening.
After you know what is causing the trouble in the marriage, the real work begins. The problem or issue has to be addressed. If the husband is an alcoholic, for example, the marriage will not get any better until he gets his alcoholism under control. In this situation, Alcoholics Anonymous will do much more for the marriage than a marriage counselor will do. On the other hand, if there is a problem with the way that husband and wife communicate, or if there has been a problem of infidelity or betrayal, marital counseling may be beneficial. Marriage counseling can especially help if a couple is having a hard time identifying what exactly it is that is making theirs a troubled marriage.
Not all troubled marriages will end in divorce. On the other hand, as statistics prove, not all troubled marriages will be helped, either. However, by identifying the problems or issues in a marriage, and if both people are willing to work at the troubled marriage, the vast majority of troubled marriages can be saved.
Once legal divorce proceedings have started, one person cannot stop the divorce from happening. Generally, both parties must agree to stop proceedings, or the divorce process will continue.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
The process of filing for divorce can be an extremely confusing one. Many people have no idea how to start. If you are in the unfortunate situation of needing to file for divorce, there are certain things you must do.
First, you’ll want to make sure you have all of your paperwork together before you file for divorce. Do you have joint possessions, such as a house? You will need the deed or the mortgage contract. Do you have joint debt? You will need records of this. Pull all of this sort of paperwork together into a single file.
Next, you should get an idea of how you want to split things. When you file for divorce, unless a specific material possession is noted in the divorce decree, you will likely have no legal standing if there is a dispute later on. During this process, you should also decide how you feel about child custody, as well as child support or alimony.
While you can technically file for divorce without an attorney, it is almost always best to at least consult with an attorney before filing for divorce. An attorney can do anything from consulting with you to explain how the process of filing for divorce works in your state or locality, all the way through helping you file the paperwork. Because divorce laws differ so much from state to state, this is something that you must do.
During the process of filing for divorce, you should keep track of all of your financial transactions. If your spouse promises something to you, make sure that it is put into the divorce decree. Write down dates and times of your conversations, and make sure that you check with your attorney before you sign anything, to make sure that you fully understand what it is that you are being asked to sign.
If you have very few possessions and no children, and are still amiable with your spouse, divorce can still become very messy. However, in these instances, there will obviously be less paperwork, and probably a lesser amount of time that you have to spend with an attorney.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
No couple enters the state of marriage expecting to divorce. However, divorce statistics tell us that a great number of people who get married do, nevertheless, eventually get divorced. Some couples find that the vows they make during their wedding ceremony, to stick together for better and worse, are something that they are no longer willing to follow through on. When this happens, divorce seems to be a logical step for them.
There are some circumstances in which most people would agree that divorce is a logical step. When one of the partners in a marriage, whether it is the husband or it is the wife, is physically or emotionally abusive, and unwilling or unable to get treatment for the abusive tendencies, divorce is often the only viable and logical option. A man or a woman who is in physical danger from their spouse should not stay with them. Even the most conservative of religions that look at divorce as being taboo tend to see divorce as a reasonable step in the case of physical abuse.
This also tends to be the case with infidelity. For some couples, infidelity can bring them to the point where divorce is a logical step. The feelings of distrust and betrayal that comes when a wife or a husband cheats are too much to handle, and the offense often is too serious to forgive. On the other hand, many couples have weathered this sort of storm and, after a long time and a long, hard road to recovery, been able to stay together. In these instances, while the vow of fidelity has been broken, the vow to stay together for better and worse can sometimes still be kept.
A marriage can only stay together as long as both parties are willing to keep working on it. Before jumping into divorce, many couples choose other options, such as marriage counseling or a trial separation. These can also be logical steps that may help to keep a marriage together. Ultimately, however, if one or both of the married couple are unable to work at their relationship, divorce will become a logical step.
Posted in Divorce, Relationships |
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