Becoming a step parent to a teenager can certainly be a challenge. Being a biological parent to a teenager is hard enough and adding the component of a step parent to the equation can sometimes be a nightmare. However, there are ways for a step parent to learn how to communicate with a new teenage stepchild. It wont be easy, and some days it may seem impossible, but if you really try the step child will eventually come around. First of all, you will need to make it very clear to the teenager that you are not there to boss them around. Teenagers are very aware of who is and who is not their parent and if you try to act like their parent you will only create more problems. What you need to do is immediately sit down with your new stepchild or stepchildren and have a conversation with them. Let them know how much you care for their biological parent and explain why you married them. Tell them that you realize you are not their biological parent and will never try to be. However, you do want to have a loving and caring relationship with them. Tell them if they dont want the same that is fine and you will respect that. But, everyone must be grown up about the situation and respect one another. When you appeal to a teenagers sensibilities and talk to him like he is a grownup he will respect you for it. Teenagers dont want to be treated like little kids and if you treat them that way you will cause more problems. However, if you treat them like they are an adult and lay things on the table and make a deal with them early on then more than likely becoming a step parent to a teenager wont be so bad. However, remember not to divide your loyalties. If you become too chummy with the stepchildren then they may try to manipulate you. This is the last thing you want so make it clear up front that you are willing to talk and listen and even give advice if asked to. However, the biological parent will parent them in the way they see fit and you will not but in on either side. If you make the rules very clear up front then becoming a step parent is much easier. Remember it will never be the same as with your biological children, but it can become fairly easy over time with commitment.

Posted in Parenting

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