Adopting a teenager is something that many parents never even consider. It isn’t that they are necessarily opposed to the idea of adopting a teenager, but it just doesn’t occur to them that it is an option. In fact, in many places, it is teenagers that are in the most need of an adoptive family.

Adopting a teenager is challenging, in its own ways, just as adopting a younger child or adopting a baby is challenging in its own ways. For example, a teenager is much more likely to mourn for the loss of friends or freedoms that she may have had in a foster care setting than a smaller child would. In addition, teenagers can be much stronger willed than smaller children or infants. An infant isn’t going to try to sneak out of the house to see a boyfriend, or isn’t even going to ask to borrow your car to drive to the mall.

Still, in some ways, adopting a teenager can be easier than adopting a baby. For one, the adoption process generally takes a lot less time when you are adopting a teenager or an older child than when you are trying to adopt an infant. In addition, a teenager is, physically, less dependant on you. That is, you don’t have to even directly feed the teenager, in the same way that you do an infant; if there is food in the house, that is enough; the teenager is bound to find it! Similarly, a teenager is more capable of cleaning up after himself, of taking care of his things, of cleaning himself, and communicating with you.

A teenager will, very often, outright rebel against your family’s rules. Often, though, she may just not know what your rules and your expectations are. It is important that you establish those rules and those expectations for the teenager that you are adopting. You should also try to be aware of the feelings of loss that they may be having, and try to be understanding and sympathetic. Your teenager should, if possible, be allowed to have her own private space, something that she may not have had in a very long time, if ever.

Adopting a teenager does have its challenges, but it also can have great rewards.

Posted in Adoption

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